had my first PABA today. hmm. talked a bit with sin hwee abt priorities and areas of service in church. yuting jie has been pressing me and sin hwee for a prayerful answer regarding the internship issue and we agreed. and right after the affrimation was a mountain of expectations, oh well, maybe more of our own expectations too. haha. realised that i'm actually not serving musch in other areas and this might be the area that i really could start with. yday yuting asked me if i had the PASSION for this 'job'. It was really difficult for me to answer. In the first place, i didn't started out heading in this direction because of passion. i started helping out because i saw that the cell needed it. but den again, i dun hate this job, in fact, in the midst of it i kinda enjoyed. e.g. the people i worked with, the things i've learnt. so PASSION's a big word to describe this job. its neither the sides. den yuting jie asked me if i have prayerfully thought abt it. speaking frankly, yes, i've prayed abt it, but prayerfully thought abt it, no. i mean i do have the desire to help people, i.e. my cell grp members to grow and learn through God. but i dunno if its a burden, or its just an interest that fufills? im too young to talk abt calling. but what im concerned is whether this is what God wants me to do currently, or its just a personal interest. speaking of personal interest, i then wondered abt my service in YFM also. i was thinking if i should continue my drums. haha. much as i love it to the bits, i think that somehow the slow progression is tying a lot of people down. beginning to think that it might not be fair to people in yfm esp enyu and gab if we die die 'cheng zhe' to learn. esp now enyu not very free den gabriel agreed on teaching us at his own time. its like he's already busy enough teaching the guitarist newly scheduled for the third service. and is like if we cant serve and yet are lian lei-ing people, feel very bad la. alamak.
oh well, had a mahjong session in shubs hse! wah.. like after how long nvr play already. haha. and played bridge too. like living a tai tai's life la. haha. sigh. tml's sch already!! arghhh.. im starting to dread sch already. dunno why. dun like sch life, studying and all that. and my CT...................argh. obviously picking on us. argh. he's gotta stop. poof.
8:47 PM
blessed.
