i was surfing on friendster today (and i realised i made a fool out of myself ahhh!!) and i received this testimonial from shoebell. mind you i dun get testimonials often so i was pretty excited when i saw the 'new testimonial' in bold. haha. anyway because i dun get them often, so everytime i get them i'll take the chance to read through my past testimonials. and i get pretty happy with all the good things people say about me (sounds sick but hey come on dun u do that too?? haha) hahaha. but today apart from the satisfaction from reading them, i suddenly felt this sense of loss. like im losing myself. yes, to singapore's cold, hard and rigid education system. most of my testimonials were like written when i was in sec 2 or 3, u noe , the time when i had the most of my youth i guess. and den i feel so cao lao (aged). feels like an ah ma reading through her dusty and yellowed diary and reliving the moments of the past. man, im just 17!!! look what EDUCATION has done to me. the hustle and bustle of JC life, left me with nothing but age. haha. ok i sound like some middle aged woman going thru their middle age crisis. But its true!! i missed the times i did silly things with my classmate, do up notice boards in class, gossip and bitch abt high profile people and scandals. hahaa. more importantly, deep friendships that are hard to come by. some things that ill perhaps never get to enjoy them ever again. time just, flies. before u noe it u'll be old and wrinkled, maybe sitting on a wheelchair staring out of the window in your room thinking of those time of youth and vibrancy and wish so much u can turn back time and relive that moment. i guess thats what makes time and memories precious, you'll never be ABLE to relive it. no room for regrets for any decisions made, no time to waste, no turnin back. carpe diem.
yeah maybe i should stop torturing my brain cells and get down to enjoyment of life, that is, God-created enjoyment for a God-created life. i always have this crazy thought of suddenly leaving for maybe say, venice? and live there for a month or two. take some pictures, enjoy the scenery, make some friends and relax of cos. wouldnt it be cool? hmm.. so dun be shocked if one day i leave a note saying that im away at somewhere beautiful!what can i say? i love surprises and wouldnt mind giving them too!! haha!
10:27 PM
blessed.
