useless guys just gets on my nerves. supposed to ask if anyone coming early for the bbq so that we can collect money. and they actually think that its gonna be free?? its like so mei you yong(useless) lo. so cheapskate la. and ask them pay like yao ta men de ming(asking their lives). and still dare talk about class fund. as if it will never deplete. cheapskate, kiam siap and irritating guys. not mentioning childish. i really really wonder whats gotten into me few years back that i'd be so smitten with *****. OMG im almost dying from the overwhelming thought. its like i just came back from cell, talking about ideal qualities in a guy. and here i am facing two guys that i definitely DO NOT wanna get involved with. omygod, why will i ever??? i hope God doesnt give me a guy like any of them. its a terrifying thought.
and anyway my whole cell thinks that im some independant woman who is like strong and like hard and everything. i dunno why am i perceived like this but aiyah, why be so soft and nice when they're not even my boyfriend! hahaha. like ok fine, im like independant and i dun need any guy? haha. everyone needs a partner and so do i! i may strive to be financially independant and whatsoever such that i LOOK like i dun need a guy but ultimately i will need one right? i mean God made women helpers of men. im not very career minded in fact. just wann have some experience in the workforce, maybe have a few kids, take care of them, and when tehy're older ic an go out and work again. haha. i just think that women, despite having to submit to their husbands must have at least an identity, some pride in themselves, and maybe some dignity? what do i mean by that? look at those women who throw themselves at men. some would even go to the extent that they will do ANYTHING for the partner. i mean anything. i mean, ur partner will like who you are in the first place wad! why so xing ku! of cos there are always areas that can be improved, but that doesnt equate to losing self identity wad. cell commented that i will never find one if i have such mentality. but truth is, if i cant find a man that can respect me and allow me to respect him then i rather remain single. and the thing about personal space. whats wrong? i mean everyone needs personal space! i cant be with that guy 24 hours! in the same way now i cant be with my family 24 hours. but i do recognise that its essential for us to have times together that can build up our relationship. all these are just ideals. there's no way someone would be so perfect. but love bears all things, isnt it?
anyway im not in a hurry to get a boyfriend. cos i know i would want someone of marriage qualities. and im just 17! no hurry!!!
11:44 PM
blessed.
