I was 4 when my little brother came to this world. I have forgotten the days where my parents' attention were ALL on me.
I was 6 when I started to dance. I started at the Tampines West CC doing my little grades, which I did VERY badly. I have forgotten the days where I did not have ballet, where I did not dance.
I was 7 when I started wearing glasses. From then on, I wake up to a blur every morning. I have gotten used to not seeing my clear image in the bathroom mirror every morning. I have forgotten what it feels like to wake up in the morning and see everything crystal clear.
I was 10 when my persistent cough stopped. I used to not be able to eat chicken, mango, fried food, cold beverages, grapes, etc etc. Even if I do, I could only eat them in minute amounts. I have forgotten the kind of pain I feel when I can't eat what I like to eat.
I was 13 when I stopped going to my father's shop every Saturday. We usually stay there the whole day, doing literally nothing. But I loved going there, meeting my cousins etc. Then we have dinner together at the cramp little space. I have forgotten the kind of fun I had there, why did I had so much fun doing nothing? I can't remember.
I was 14 when my mother started going out to work again. It has been 7 years since she last worked. She quit her job to take care of my brother and I. She cooks dinner every night and I was forced to stay at home. After she started going to work, she doesn't cook dinner every night anymore. I have forgotten the kind of obligation I feel to stay at home for dinner. I have forgotten how it feels like to have dinner at home everyday, to smell dinner since 5pm.
I was 15 when I became a Christian and started going church. I strive to lead a life that is pleasing to God. I forgot the life that I had before I became a Christian. I forgot what was I like, my attitudes, my perceptions, my struggles, my internal feelings.
I was 17 when I shifted house and lost my own room. I remember 2 days after we shifted, we went back to collect some stuff. We still had the keys and so we went into the house to take a look. Everything was hacked to make way for the new furniture. I'm starting to forget, what my house looked like when we first shifted there. I'm starting to forget my room, the room that was tinged purple every morning because of my curtains, the sound of the expressway that was just beside where we lived.
I was 18 when my dear grandmother passed away. She loved me a lot, a whole lot. She brought me to places, gave me a lot of things, money, food anything. She took care of me when my mother was still working in the past. I stayed at her place in the day and my Mum would pick me up. Ever since I started growing up, I drifted away from her. I forgot what she would say to me, because she became sick during her last days.
I am 20 now and I'm forgetting all these precious memories. I wonder how a senile 70 year old feels.
Can you remember?
1:19 PM
blessed.
